The start of this journey. My first birth.

This is me on the day I had my son.

This is also the day that changed everything for me.

I am Samantha Mysliwiec, and this is the start of my doula journey!

I woke up that morning just as I had every day for the last 9 months and made myself breakfast while my husband slept just that little bit longer. It was the day before my due date and I knew something was a little different about today. As I ate my breakfast and felt the little feet in my belly do that familiar tap dance they always did I felt the first trickle of what I know know was amniotic fluid. I woke my husband up and we waited on contractions. After a few hours, and more trickles, we decided it was better to be safe than sorry and we made the quick trip to the hospital. I was tested to see if my water was leaking and the results came back inconclusive, i was frustrated and disappointed. I was so sure that this was it! That baby was coming TODAY!

So after several long hours at the hospital, I was sent home around 2:30 p.m. and told to wait it out.

We came home and watched some t.v. "patiently" waiting on the start of contractions or just something to hint at the aspect of REAL labor. As I lay there half watching the show that was playing I decided I might as well go make sure my hospital bag is packed and ready.

I stood up from the futon and made my way across the living room in our tiny apartment toward the hall

My water broke. It really broke! Oh shit. It broke.

I turned around and looked at my husband the first words out of my mouth were "I told you!" and instantly began crying (although I still have no idea why, haha). We both started laughing and finished packing and left for the hospital.

We made it there around 5:30 p.m. once we were in the labor and birth suite they monitored me for a few minutes before telling me that I was free to go wander the halls in front of the birthing rooms and that all of the equipment there was at my disposal. I made a few laps around the halls and spent the first half of my labor talking and laughing with my husband, photographer, and brother-in-law. All was well until the contractions REALLY started to hurt.

I'm not going to lie here, I pride myself on my pain tolerance and being "tough" but the contractions HURT. I remember telling everyone in the room that I wished my legs could just roll up like the wicked witch when the house smashed her. I was at about 4-5 centimeters when I hit the transition stage of my labor and it came on hard and fast. I remember having trouble with my breathing and being really really scared. I panicked. I begged for the epidural. They checked me i was at an 8 and they said they could try. Pretty soon the contractions were back to back and I remember my whole body shaking with each one. The anesthesiologist showed up and attempted twice to place the epidural. No dice. He was actually rather annoyed I think. But I didn't care. I told him to forget it and tried to lean back before the last bit of needle was even really away from my spine (not a proud moment but i wasnt fully in control here)

Everything was moving so fast and before I even knew what was going on it was time to push. I leaned back on the bed, gripped the arm of my husband and screamed. I screamed from the deepest part of me. I felt the wild woman in me rise up the gutteral, instinctual primal part took over and I roared my baby out. After the longest seven minutes of my life, I met my son.

He was laid straight onto my chest, his tiny body curled tightly against mine and in that moment time stood still. He let out an angry cry and i pulled him ever tighter to me.

The next couple of hours were a blur. I nursed him, they weighed him, measured him, swaddled him, and handed him to my husband who held him while I showered and cleaned myself up. We moved rooms and the nurses left us to bond with our baby.

Now while my labor and birth were pretty easy and smooth and just an absolutely amazing experience I was exhausted and scared and had no idea what I was doing and remember wishing that I had someone to ask all my questions to who was closer to me than a nurse. Who could sit with me and hold my hand as long as i needed and show me things a little more closely. Someone who had been through what I had just gone through WITH me, someone who held mine and my husbands hands through the whole process and who understood that birth is unique to each woman.

And that's when I began toying with the idea of becoming a doula so that I could offer a chance at someone else having their most beautiful birth experience. Because I believeeveryone deserves that

The purpose of this blog is to talk about pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum, and all the things that people DON'T talk about when they talk about it. The good, bad, and ugly parts of it all. I also want to shine some light on subjects that people may not think to ask about and offer advice to whomever happens to stumble across my website and this blog. So please, feel free to read my other posts, comment, and share.

I'm glad you're here!

#labor #birth #baby #birthstory